Weekend Recap.

My weekend was fun! I took off work on Saturday because my cousin Austin and Uncle Wade came in. It did my heart well to see them! I love my Aussie! lol Thursday and Friday is my weekend and Thursday I completely emptied my DVR. I got started on my dvr'd Pretty Little Liars and got sucked into the t.v. and watched my shows straight through Zumba!!! I can't believe I missed Zumba! Ya'll I'll say it til I turn blue in the face. YOU HAVE GOT TO COME TO ZUMBA! Do it!

Moving on.

Friday I went and bought supplies for vacation. I spent a small fortune on sunscreen. I would love to come back all nice and brown, but for some reason God decided to make my skin un-tannable. I get spray tans, and sometimes even those don't turn out well! My skin just doesn't want to be anything other than the color of powder. Sigh. I've even been laying in the tanning bed some! AH! I feel like i'm sinning everytime I lay in the tanning bed. For real! I harp on everyone to not ever lay in the tanning bed but I figured I had best try to get some type of base tan because even with SPF 50 and higher... when I hit the beach, i'll toast. Anyways went out and about with Kbz and Meeshellz and on the way guess what! I GOT A SPEEDING TICKET!! I was on Duncannon and by the time I seen the cop it was too late to do anything about it. I had been pulled over once here in the county and he knew me and laughed at me and told me to slow down. I didn't know this guy. He was really nice though. He asked where we was going and I said "Old Navy." He started laughing and said IS THERE A SALE? lol shoooot. Well he goes back to his car and writes up the ticket and comes back and hands me a citation. I didn't know you get citations when you get tickets so when I seen that my heart stopped beating. Turns out thats normal and I wasn't going to Jail! lol

$163.00!!!!! What?!?!? It only costs $20.00 to speed and Court Costs were $143.00! Outrageous!

We went to Olive Garden and I ate. A lot.

Then I went to Amanda's Origami Owl Party. What cute stuff! I bought a necklace and it is gonna be dedicated to my Mother Hen. 

I tried to do this to some people and no one even began to believe it. One of the people I sent it to didn't get it at all and thought I had gotten a good deal on grapes or something. ha!

I just love this dog! His name is Cecil!

Hope ya'll had a good weekend! I'm gonna be working out super hard this week! I have vacation in just a few days! I have to get it together!

Broken.

So this post is a bit serious and some what sad I suppose. Since I've not really held anything back on this blog except what my weight is. Which I will tell when I reach a certain milestone lol Other then that I've managed to just let it all out on here. Well with this post i'll do the same. If you know me and my family or you have me on Facebook you know that I lost my mother last November. You would also know that I lost my Aunt Kay last March and my Granny this past January. Now, i'm not laying all of this out so that you can feel sorry for me or that i'm tooting my own horn about how I've found myself getting through this. Ever since I've started this blog I've wanted to give this testimony, if you will. So here is some back tracking.

When I got saved in '07 God didn't save me from some terrible life. I wasn't on drugs, an alcoholic  didn't come from a broken home, never had an issue with depression or anxiety, never bullied, no real personal problems, never really dealt with loneliness, he just saved me from myself. My bible was my cosmo magazines and I could give you any information on any celebrity you needed to know. (And no... I don't have a problem with t.v. or cosmo just giving you an idea with my obsessions.) I had a lot of friends, a wonderful family, just a good life in general. So for that I never really felt that I had a "testimony." Which just simply saying "I got saved" is probably the best testimony you could have. Ever. Ever.

I wanted to help people though.

I wanted people to know they could talk to me or I could understand what was wrong. BUT, unless you've been through something then you don't really have a lot of weight to your words. Someone with a problem with drugs probably wouldn't find much solace in talking to me. Now I knew better then to ask for a testimony, that means I had to go through some things that would probably hurt. Who wants that? But I also knew that life isn't fair and sooner or later at some point I would deal with something that would add weight to my words. Thus far it all happened fast. REALLY fast. Within a year my life went into complete tornado mode. So I know, if I know anything in this world, I know what its like to be broken.

It started with my marriage. The first two years was fine, but looking back I seen that I took everything those two years had to offer for granted. I was careless and sometimes mean. I told someone that I work with that I could be quite difficult to live with, and they didn't believe me. I can be pretty hateful and stubborn and I want things my way. I'm not an only child but I was raised as one so "princess" syndrome is one of my illnesses. lol Then came year 3. It was ok for the first half but the 2nd half fell a part and fast. A series of different events took place and everything changed from what I knew and took advantage of to a complete 180. We decided to get divorced. I'm not proud that it happened but in some ways as strange as it sounds i'm sort of glad it did. When I was by myself I was able to see where I had went wrong, and realized I wasn't the perfect Mary Poppins I thought I was. Instead of laying all this blame on Ryan. I'm not justifying either of our actions but within that time I was able to see and know what was important. I was able to allow God to work in my life like never before. There was nothing I could possibly do on my own but lean on him. It was one of the hardest trials I've ever dealt with in my life. A few days before our divorce was to be finalized we got back together. It's been different ever since. I've been different. In a good way. It's now year 5. I'll one day do a post about this i'm sure but i'm sure you get the picture. That was the 1st thing that was just a whirl wind. What surprised me was the amount of different emotions. I never got depressed. I was broken and devastated but never to a point of depression. I could go from just fine, to crying, to rage in a matter of seconds. That scared me. The rage that I could feel. I'd never in my life been drove to that point that if something would have set me off when I felt that anger and rage its untelling what I would have done! I didn't like that, I didn't like NOT knowing how I was going to react. So now I have a great understanding of what someone goes through and how they feel during a divorce.

Then things calmed down. I found myself on a path of restoration and forgiveness and that felt wonderful. Right about the time I started to feel comfortable again. We started to notice little things with my mother that didn't seem "right." Thats when we found out about her cancer. They sent her straight to U.K. on a Wednesday and Thursday morning was when we learned she had Stage 4 Lung Cancer that had spread to her brain. They immediately scheduled her for brain surgery for the next Monday,  4 days away.

Whirlwind.

The doctor came in early Thursday morning and told us. She never cried. I wanted to die. I didn't want her to see me cry although there was a few times I couldn't bite down hard enough to keep the tears from falling. I had to sit there all day trying to act like I was "stronger" then I was. That evening I went home and I don't remember where Ryan was but I was glad to be home alone. I went to pieces. I found myself mourning like she had died. Finally as the night went on I was able to get myself together and tell some of my family and friends what was going on. I realized I was just expecting the worse and not giving the situation to God. The one that COULD take care of this. The next day- Friday - I went out with Ryan to get all of his stuff for the academy. That evening my friends, Taryn, Jess, and Belinda came over and visited with my Mom. The more I was around people the better I was.

From the start my Mom was strong about her illness. (In a few days I'll have a post up with her entire story) That helped me. It was helpful to see her positive attitude and I wasn't about to let her see my negativity. The next day, Saturday, My Aunt Kay, (Brenda Hurst) had suffered from a heart attack. My mom called to tell me about it and I just felt so overwhelmed. I had just got to a point that I could think about my mom and not cry,  I was packing up all of Ryan's stuff for the academy and now this??? At first I thought no... this must be some sort of mistake. This much doesn't happen all at one time! I went to the hospital later that evening and not very long after I got there we got the news that Aunt Kay had passed away. WHAT? It was overload. At this point I literally was just going through the motions of life. There was no way to process everything. Monday came and it was brain surgery day. I was on pins and needles but felt peace at the same time? Surgery went wonderful and she got to even come home the next day! After brain surgery!

Got that out of the way. No its funeral time. Aunt Kays daughter, Amanda, was the same boat as me. She wasn't an only child but she was raised as one. She was Aunt Kays only child. I remember sitting at the funeral and getting so sick thinking to myself, "this will be me." I just sat there and thought about how there was no way in the world I could sit through my mothers funeral, I would never be able to do all the things that you have to like picking out clothes, flowers, making arrangements. There is no way! I would just die having to face all these people. Then I realized what I was thinking and I made myself stop. God could heal my mother that very minute and I may never have to deal with that sort of planning. But I just stared at Amanda and wondered how she did it.

For a few weeks things calmed down a bit. No more bad news it was just waiting on my mother to recover and start her radiation treatments. Those treatments came and went and I found myself being hopeful and positive and knowing that God had control of this situation. Then came Chemo. Her body never did react how they thought it would. It made her so sick. The worse i've ever seen in my life. I had never seen anyone so pitiful. Times like that I could feel my faith wavering. I was able to hold on though. She never once let her guard down and let doubt come in. Once the chemo was over we just knew the cancer was gone. I could feel it. We were anxious to get to the doctor to find out the results. The day before I was taking a shower and I had k-love on. I wasn't paying one bit of attention to it and out of no where I just heard the chorus to Kutless- Even If
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

I'd never heard the song before and that line just dropped into my heart. I knew without a doubt the cancer was gone but I knew that there was going to be something happen. We get to the doc the next day and Good News the cancer is gone! BUT her lung was collapsed. Straight into surgery the next day. She was in the hosp. for a week. She came home and just never seemed to be getting better. I remember asking her one day WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FEEL BETTER, she just started laughing at me and said soon. She just didn't ever seem to get better. She had to go back to have another scan a few weeks later. Her lung had collapsed again and the cancer was back. In her liver and more aggressive then before. Little by little we seen changes, that we tried to justify but we knew what was happening. I was able to believe though that a miracle could take place at any second. She stopped eating, and she started sleeping so much. They called hospice in on a thursday, family and friends started piling in, we prayed and prayed for a miracle but her miracle wasn't due to be here. Sunday evening with almost her entire family we watched her leave this world. I knew that thursday it wouldn't be long so I guess I just mourned everyday until it happened. I was completely broken.

But I had a peace in my heart that I could never begin to explain. My whole life i've been terrified to lose a parent. I just knew if something happened to either of them I would LITERALLY just give up. I would just lay down until I died. I didn't. The next day I got up, got ready, we went and made arrangements, picked out her grave site, picked out the flowers, and the rest of the time we picked out clothes and pictures. Everything I thought I would never ever be able to do, I did. God helped me more then I could ever explain.

While all of this was happening my poor little Grannys health was getting worse. Little by little she would get worse. She was in the hospital during Christmas and that just devastated us all. You ALWAYS spend Christmas Eve at Grannys! She got to come home a couple days after Christmas and we were able to get together and spend it with each other. She was tired but in a good mood and of course kept saying some of the funniest things. We were all afraid it would be our last Christmas with her but we were also well aware that there is no shortage of Miracles. They had a schedule set up and we all had a turn going over and taking care of her. My day was Thursday. I went over there and she slept most of the day she had a bad night the night before so I just let her sleep. The next day she got really sick and had to be put back in the hospital. It seemed like the same thing again. She was so sick and so tired. They kept her comfortable and then on a Tuesday night we just knew what was happening. Shane Gabbard came and prayed with her and afterwards we just started talking to her and letting her know what she meant to us. Some of the family was outside and one by one everyone came back in the room. It was like she knew. Once everyone was in there she let go, and we watched her leave.

I know I go into detail with everything and this is 500 miles long. But I just want people to know that I know what it feels like to experience loss and hurt. I know what its like to be broken. The first couple months after all of this I was fine. Sometimes I worried about how ok I was. Lately though I find myself struggling. Trying to accept how different it is and realizing that I'll never be able to just call my mom up and ask her a question.  Coming to terms with the family members that are missing at family events. I find myself struggling to not get depressed. The only person that has known that I have dealt with being depressed is Ryan. Thats only because he was home when I had a melt down. I didn't want anyone at all to know. Panic attacks have been frequent and the feeling of being powerless is consuming sometimes. But i'm ok? lol I know that probably doesn't make sense. Some days i'm fine other days i'm a ball of nerves. I do know that I wont always be like this. I know that God has helped me more than anything and far more then I will or ever deserve. If he stopped helping me right now he's done more then I could ever thank him for!

So I say all that to say this. I've been there. I'm there. I'm getting better. I'm letting time heal me. Somedays its messy. My make up is wasted and some days I don't know how to handle it. But I know this brokenness will get better. Everyday no matter if its a good day or a bad day I notice that I breath a little better, a little lighter. We are all way more stronger then we know. Once your put into a foreign scary situation you can handle it better then you ever thought. I'm not laying in my bed waiting to die. I know where Aunt Kay, My Mom and my Granny are. I know they're waiting on us and i'm excited for that day. But until then I know i'm going to be ok. I know that if I want to fight for something then I can attain it i.e.- my marriage. If I want to get through this, I will. I just have to trust God. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Keeping my sadness/depression a secret only hurt me more. It helped once Ryan knew. If you need to talk to someone then message me. Make prayer your first resort. You/we can get through this!

What i've been up to.

So I had a fun week! Monday of course was Zumba. It was good to be back. I had to miss the week before and it made me so sad! Tuesday was the Zumba party at the Lords Gym. Ashley just started incorporating some weights in with a couple of the zumba dances which is SOOOO awesome to me! After the zumba party the weather was so perfect and Jess, Kbz, Meeshellz, and I had a wild streak and went and walked the V-School Hill. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!

We ran back down. That sweaty pony tail was from Zumba. I'm telling ya'll you need to come to zumba!!

Before Zumba Sarge and I took a trip in the sunshine in my father bears truck (always an adventure in that thing) to Clay Co. to see Ryan Jo. I just have to show ya'll these pics of Sarge!

Seriously. How much more cute could he be?!?!?

Also.... I totally took a ride in Bills EL CAMINO!

lol!

Later in the week Ryan Jo, Kbz, and I went to the Phillip Phillips concert. Ryan wasn't all that enthused about going. He was expecting it to be "hipster" and coffee shop-ish lol it wasn't it was actually a really good concert!

There was a band called Churchill that opened up for him. I liked them. I was beyond exhausted and had been feeling bad that day so I didn't get to enjoy the concert as much as I wished. It didn't help that we sat in front of an ENTIRE group of sorority girls. Don't get me wrong its not rare for my friends and I to laugh hysterically and be loud when we are all together but these girls were just out of control. I sat there and just imagined myself punching this girl that kept screaming the most stupid things right in the nose. That would have been wrong. So I didn't. But I wanted to. OH! there was also a girl and a guy in front of us. Probably in the 8th grade, MAYBE 9th but that would have been pushing it. TOTAL PORN. Disgusting. I seen some people laughing at them and recording them. I hope it gets uploaded on the internet and their parents see. It was awful. Maybe i'm just old but the last I checked you didn't act like that in public especially 8th graders!! glajflasjflasjdflasjflasdjf <-- aggravation.

Moving on. I had a fun week and friday I had a lazzzzzzzzzy day. I watched t.v all day long and it was wonderful. 

Also can we just give the Boston P.D. State Police and S.W.A.T. Teams a big shout out! How awesome was that getting that terrorist! I watched the news for hours Friday and prayed a lot that the one that was still alive didn't have any bombs strapped to himself or random traps/bombs. Thank God for shielding them and I pray for those families that lost loved ones and those that were injured. I don't get very caught up in politics and all that but its such a shame that we have to worry about terrorists or someone wanting to launch nuclear bombs at us. I'm glad that I'm on the Lords side. No matter what happens i'm promised eternal life as long as I keep my end of the deal up. My heart was broke for the campus police officers family. He was 26 and they just murdered him before he had a chance to do anything. ONE year older then me... big reality check. For whatever reason I never get scared about Ryan being a police officer. I think one time I got scared because I heard what he was being called out to on the radio when he still worked here. It ended up being nothing, but now that he's at Clay Co. I don't really know whats going on until AFTER its happened. Maybe that's why I don't get scared. I don't really look for Terrorist to come to Manchester... that's not what i'm saying but Manchester, McKee, London, none of these places are exempt from psycho paths and people strung out on drugs that are completely OUT of their mind. So now I'm more nervous about his job and what he does. So let's just all keep our police and first responders in our prayers! 

Well that was a book. Have a good Week ya'll!

Advocare 10 Day Cleanse.

So I started the Advocare 24 Day Challenge with Taryn and I'm quite pleased with my results!The first 10 days is the cleanse phase. During that time you want to stick with "whole" foods as much as possible, avoid, sugar, white/enriched flour, fried foods, and processed foods. I pretty much ate that way around 75% of the time but one of my goals is to get my food intake to doing that type of diet 90% of the time. So that was 1 reason I wanted to start this challenge. You also have to watch your portions on this challenge as well and ya'll know if you read this blog I've been complaining about getting my portions under control. Throughout this cleanse I was able to conquer that as well! You also drink a fiber drink and take different vitamins throughout the cleanse as well. It's NOT a fad diet or some type of diet pill regime either! All in all the cleanse was a success!

And then.

Then I was off the cleanse portion of the challenge and I had a big day planned out and about with Ryan Jo. and my friend Kbz. So I planned to cheat that day. We went and had mexican and later that evening we had orange leaf. Not too bad. But i've not been so 90% since then either. I worked much to hard to sabotage my progress so I got my junk food cravings out of my system and i'm getting back to my regular organization. Speaking of... if you plan to do this challenge GET ORGANIZED! Plan around your periods girls, and plan around a lot of family functions. I didn't get very organized and I pretty much winged it the whole time. Some how I managed to keep my food cleanse appropriate but it was stressful not keeping everything on hand that I needed. So plan. plan. plan.

My problems were sneaking in a bit to much "junk" I wasn't being 80/20 with my food I was more 65/35 lol I found too many reasons to sneak cheese on this, or add butter to that. Not necessary and most things taste just fine without butter or cheese. My other problem was portions. So this challenge has helped me so much with that! Now... I also believe that if you change your foods to 90% whole foods, drink a gallon of water a day and exercise alone without Advocare you will lose weight and feel amazing! For whatever reason when I paid for this product it just jump started me and I now have my problem areas getting under control. So to me that was worth what I spent! So I advise those wanting to start losing weight but feel that they need a guideline or if your stuck in a plateau then do this challenge! It will jump start your metabolism and help you get your body and cravings under control!

Did I mention I lost 7 lbs? =)

Clothes.

So lets just talk about clothes, shall we? I am in no way a fashionista... my wardrobe is plain and my closet is color coordinated  I have 5 million gray, pink, white, and blue shirts. All of those are pretty plain at that. Sometimes the occasional stripes and I have I think 2 shimmery tank tops, and a black sequence tank. That sums me up. Jeans, shirts, and flip flops is my summer apparel, and the fall and winter is my handy white north face jacket that I've wore completely out, some jeans, a 3/4 length sleeve shirt and Sperry shoes, that sums me up! I don't necessarily want to ALWAYS dress that way its just whats the most accessible. You see... Clothes aren't that simple if your on the bigger side. Of course its easy to put a big t-shirt on and jeans and go but I don't want to always dress that way! Sometimes though there isn't much of a choice. Now I'm well aware that many stores have plus size clothes that are VERY cute but even with that option sometimes picking out clothes still isn't that simple. If you are a skinny minny then God Bless you. Don't take that for granted as far as clothing goes. 

Every summer I get so frustrated getting ready. I have friends that are small and I just love the "ease" they have with their clothes. Every summer I think to myself, "WHY didn't I stick to my dumb New Years Resolution, I could be so far along by now and I wouldn't have to deal with this clothes dilemma!" Every year ya'll, every year I have that argument with myself. EXCEPT this year! yeah! So with that i'm excited for clothes! I'm still not no where near what I need to be or want to be but i'm so much closer then I was in January! I'm rambling! What i'm trying to get to is clothes is not easy when your bigger!

On a summer day if I want to go to some gathering for example a cook out and I know its going to be hot... I can't just run in the house and put on a lil maxi dress or throw on some jeans and a tank top. Nope. Not that simple. You see i'm short so maxi dresses are a NO even though i'm still looking for one lol but if your short and big like me then um... they're not flattering or I've not found one yet. Can't just put on a tank and shorts, nope coz thats just to simple. My legs are (but getting smaller) biiiiig so shorts never ever looked ok and they rode up when I walked and that was just annoying cant just put a tank top on I have to layer my clothes with a tank top under the original planned tank because with all my rolls lol the extra tank sorta helped smooth them out just a liiiiiitle bit. Anyone else know what i'm talking about??? Oh and let's not forget about the strapless bra! If you have big boobs then strapless bras are a joke... see nothing simple. Clothes just aren't that simple when your bigger!

And trip to say Kings Island. HAHAHA geeezzz..... its always blistering hot and I have been known to spend a great deal of time trying to figure out what to do about clothes. I of course had to go with capris. With that always came with what type of material.... jeans would be to heavy and if I was to ride anything that involved water then that of course would rub my legs raw before it got dry but then cotton would burn me up as well... and something tight like yoga pants. psht... there is a comedian in us all. And then of course with the tank top issue.... super bulky strapless bra with the 2 tank tops or t-shirt with a tank top underneath because thats what we all want right?? 90+ degrees with humidity of 6700 and wear 34 layers with jean capris. give me a break. aggravation.

Swimming. Wow. Ryan and I had plans to spend the weekend on the lake and I spent a fortune before getting there. For a weekend on the lake I spent a fortune on apparel. That is a sentence that should never been said. I had to buy a swim suit top in which I wore a strapless bra underneath, swim suit bottoms with shorts that I had to search to match my top over that. Oh oh oh and then! One of those lil dress things to put over all that. Really???? Who wears that much on a boat in the middle of the lake?!?!? I spent the day tugging and pulling at all of my many layers. The rest of the summer played out that way as well. Ryan would say lets go swimming! He would go put on flip flops and swimming trunks.I went to layer up. 

Oh and Jeans! gaaaah.... when I could find them to fit well they didn't look very good. Boot cut wasn't flattering but flare was to much.. skinny jeans were an arch enemy. I just looked like a huge ball with feet sticking out.... 

And in the fall/winter.... always jealous of the chicks who just so effortlessly just put on some cute skinny jeans, throw on some cute TALL boots and a comfy sweater. Not for me though! My calf muscles are HUGE although they've been shrinking and i'm so excited about that I can't even express. But with my massive calf muscles tall boots were a no go. The boots I do have are only mid calf and they were originally to fit really loose ya know kinda baggy? not on me though it was a process to get them on and they were skin tight. So once they were on they were on ALL day. 

Lazy pants like boyfriend fit? yeah... those fit really tight like fitted lazy pants.. no cute boyfriend fit for me! 

So with this rant you see where i'm going? And if your big too i'm sure you've had some of these problems. I can/could find plenty of cute clothes but there was always the tank tops and layering and vests, and camis and sweaters and whatever else to hide or smooth or cover. SHHEEESH! It's aggravating. 

BUT Praise The LORD things are getting so much better for me with clothes! I'm going to continue working so that this fall I can buy the cute tall boots! I've noticed that when I wear my wedges and I can stand and walk so much longer then once before. Before walking from the parking lot into a store and I was ready to croak. I now have saggy butt syndrome lol in all my pants and capris! Thats sort of aggravating because i'm having to tug and pull up my pants/capris all the time but with every tug I smile. Because for ONCE I started and have continued to finish out a weightloss goal. 

I know this post probably seems really vain and in some ways I guess it is. Thank God I had all these clothes to complain about and Thank God I had all the tank tops and everything else to go along. But if your big, have been big, then you know what i'm talking about with some of this! It can be so disheartening and frustrating when your getting ready. So now that I watch my clothes start getting baggy or clothes that I had that were so tight fit just right I see all sorts of hope! I didn't start this weight loss journey for the sole purpose of looking good in clothes. I had much much much more important reasons as to why but lets face it... us girls still wanna look good in clothes! And not really to impress no one either. When I put something on and I feel like it looks good I truly don't think to myself or wonder who it will impress. If no one notices i'll be fine but I noticed and that's what I was looking for! Moments when I like what i'm wearing! So here is to clothes fitting better and shedding layers!! Oh and the hunt for the perfect short girl maxi dress!

Advocare 24 Day Challenge- Day 1 Recap

Whoa! It's been busy! Yesterday was cRaZy at work! It was also the first day of my Advocare 24 Day Challenge. My friend, Taryn was suuuuuuper prepared. I, not so much. I made a little schedule and I pretty much just winged it on my food. It all fell into the category of "clean" and was cleanse appropriate but I MUST prepare better! Anyways Day 1-10 is the cleanse. It is designed to get all the "junk" out of our bodies. My Day went as so:

5:00am-UP and I took my Catalyst which is an Amino Acid supplement. I have hypothyroidism so I had to take those meds to. One good thing about this challenge is that everything is scheduled which means I will remember to take my thyroid meds normally!

From that point on I worked out. I usually do a Jillian Michaels work out but yesterday I tried this out:

I found it on pinterest. That wall sit is intense! It was a pretty good routine and by the 3rd round I was tired but I think i'll stick to the Jillian workouts.

7:30 I had breakfast. A whole wheat english muffin (complex carb) with an egg (protein) and a piece of turkey bacon and a banana. I didn't put any of my smart balance on my muffin and it was a little like eating a board but It was ok. ha! I mixed my fiber drink in with my orange mandarin spark. It tastes like pulpy orange juice. It grossed me out but it doesn't taste bad? I'm not sure how to explain. The Spark itself is really good. It's an energy drink without all the junk in it. 

10:30 I had my snack, a grapefruit. 

11:30 It was time for Catalyst again

12:30 I had lunch. I had some chicken fajitas. I baked chicken, green peppers, onions, a can of rotel tomatoes and seasoned it all with a little bit of cumin, garlic, and chili powder. I decided i'd make a chicken fajita salad. GROSS. Ryan had me buy this "spring mix" rather then my usual salad mix. It's awful. Just dreadful! I also mixed in some corn and black beans as my complex carbs.

2:30 should have been spark and snack time. There was no time. 

So when I got off work at 4:00 I made up my cherry spark, and had a small bowl of fruit. 3 strawberries, a few pieces of pineapple, and a few grapes. I seen Taryn soak some of her fruit in lemon juice and I thought that would be delicious. Lies. Ruined my fruit. I stuggled to get it down.

After my fruit catastrophe I decided to go on a walk/run. I did around 2.7 miles. I'm starting this program called "Ease into your first 5k" The first week you warm up, then run 60 secs, walk 90 secs, and repeat that 9 times, with a cool down walk. I've not made it the whole 9 times but i've made 7 times! I can also run 1:30 without stopping! Woo Hoo!! and for me that is MONUMENTAL! 

Now its around 7:30 and its supper time. I don't usually eat that late but it was a crazy day. I made salmon patties. All they were was 2 cans of salmon, cleaned (takes forever) I added 2 eggs and a couple tablespoons of whole wheat flour. Your not suppose to have anything fried but I don't think I would count those as something fried. I just used some spray and a little bit of olive oil which is allowed and cooked them in a skillet. lol They were really good! I don't really doctor up my salmon patties too much sometimes I add in some onion. I had 1 salmon patty with a cup of green beans. I also topped off my GALLON of water for the day. I really did think I was going to float away. I took my Omega Plex before dinner. Its basically just fish oil but it has some added vitamins as well. 

That salad was a no go. I tried to eat it with the oil and vinegar in that little cup. DISGUSTING. I was much to full to force the salad down anyways so i just ate that heaping mound of beans and the salmon patty. Did I ever tell you I LOVE LOVE LOVE green beans? No. Well let me just tell you. I love green beans! 

By bedtime I was beat. I took my last catalyst and my herbal cleanse pills and I was done. It was a very successful day! Just so hectic I couldn't really appreciate what goodness I had done for myself. It was too busy to take cute pics of all my food. So needless to say while i'm off work i'm going to get organized. I can already tell a difference in how I feel in just one day! I'm excited about all the changes! Just one day in and I recommend doing this challenge! You wont starve. Your not doing some sort of diet pill, i'm highly against those. This really isn't even designed for weight loss but with these changes you will lose weight! If you want to know more about it feel free to message me and if I can't help you then I can get you in contact with those that can!

Now on to this part. I did all of my measurements and my weight and took pics yesterday as well. I wont have anymore Weigh In Wednesday posts until the challenge is complete. Here are my results for starting, I'll do my measurements again after the 10 day cleanse but I'm not decided if I want to post that or not. I will be posting at the end of the 24 days with my overall results. Here are my results!

I was satisfied from last Wednesday!

Boobs- 43in still the same!

Waist- 44 down another inch!!

Hips- 48.5 down another inch!!

Thighs- 24 down 1/2 inch!!

Calf- 17 3/4 down 1/4 inch! It counts!

Arms- 12.5 still the same!

My Weight was the same still down 21 lbs. all together!

This is the longest post in history. So i'll stop. 

Random/Advocare

Since I've really been slacking I need to bring you all up to speed and show ya'll some pics! The past couple weeks have been so random for me... they've been so weird! Anyways so on Easter I decided to wear BLACK who does that???? Oh well I really liked my dress, it was bit too short but it was too big! Yay! I just love my clothes being to big!

I'm starting the Advocare 24 Day Challenge on Tuesday and i'm pretty pumped about it! The first 10 days is the cleanse phase in which I NEED. The challenge itself isn't really designed for weight loss but you lose anyways! You eat CLEAN foods, take vitamins, drink fiber drinks, and the challenge progresses your vitamins and such change. It's considered a nutritional challenge! Ya'll have noticed that lately ALL i'm posting is I HAVE TO GET MY FOOD INTAKE IN CHECK. So this is going to help me do that. A lot of people that have completed the challenge lost a great deal of inches as well. With vacation just around the corner that is what I want! I'm so excited! I'm spending the day trying to find some good recipes although this is pretty much how I've been eating anyways. Only this time the portions are much smaller then what i've been doing. Another problem that I have is I just went to the store and bought everything Whole Wheat what I needed was Whole Grain. Hopefully that wont altar my results that much. I spent to much money on whole wheat to turn around and buy something else without eating this! My friend Taryn is doing this challenge with me as well. So wish us luck!

Oh let me just tell you guys about a proud little moment I had! So like I said I'm getting ready to start the challenge so all weekend I kept telling myself i'm going to splurge on this and that. Which I did buy some chocolate donuts and loved every bite! Thats not the point though... moving on. Ryan and I went to get some food at Raffertys after his eye doctor appt. I'm not impressed with Raffertys btw. Anyways I went in thinking I was going to get a cheeseburger or nachos. Came time to order and I got a grilled chicken wrap on a spinach tortilla, with parmesean cheese, salsa, and lettuce, with a bowl of fruit!?!? It tasted pretty good. Could have made it better at home but none the less my meal was pretty cheap and really filling! Now I have to start doing that every time I go out to eat! I always order something I wish I wouldn't have. 

Sarge has been so cute lately, wanting to paint his nails and all...

Littles has been pretty cute too...

Zumba is still kicking my butt in gear. COME TO ZUMBA you will love it! I'm also still loving running. I'm doing the Ease into your first 5K program. So far so good! Thats a bit of a recap. I'm back in gear!

Not Forgotten.

So I'm assuming ya'll have though I've gave up on this blogging idea, right?? Nonsense! It's been crazy man. I'll update ya on some fun news in a sec. I did do Weigh In Wed. I just didn't post, here is the results!

Boobs: 43in -down 1/2in!

Waist: 45 -the same

Hips: 49.5 -down 1/2in!

Arms: 12.5 -the same

Thighs: 24.5 -DOWN 1 INCH!

Calf: 18 -the same

I'm down 1 lb.!

On to other news! I'm going on VACATION!!! -Lord Willing. The room is booked and now we wait! I'm so excited I can't stand it! We are going to Tybee Island and Savannah GA. EEEK!! 

Easter was so wonderful! Ryan and I went to church at Faith Baptist and my friend Floyd got saved!!! Afterwards we went to my Aunt Shells for Easter Dinner. Her and my Aunt Lou cooked such a yummy meal. I ate A LOT. I didn't feel bad about it. After that I went to my cousin Sherrys and ate some of her Mac and Cheese. Didn't feel bad about that either. Later that night I was starving so I went to DQ and got a cheeseburger. I felt a little bit bad about that. I just went wild. I've done much much better since then. I finally went to the grocery store! Usually I like grocery shopping but the past couple weeks i've been slacking. I'm all stocked on healthy veggies and fruits! I haven't been cooking much either. Always a bad idea. Seems like i've been in a semi slump for a few weeks and I AM ALWAYS having to try to pull myself out of it. I'm sick of it! I'm going to the beach in a month! I've got to get myself together! Obviously I wont be bikini ready but I still need to get myself in gear. I've been fine on my exercising and as odd as it sounds i'm actually always looking forward to do it??!!! My food is slacking i'm just going for whatever is easiest. Bad Idea. Baaaaaaaaaad. 

I really want to get my food intake to be 80-90% Clean foods ALL the time. Slowly but surely i'm getting there. Sheesh!

To help me get there I'm starting the Advocare 24 day Challenge. I'll have more about that later!